Worst Case Scenarios:
A. "I've met someone else."
B. "I think it was a bad idea, and it's not gonna work out."
C. "Don't bother waiting for me."
D. "I don't like you."
E. "You're creeping me out."
F. "I'm filing a restraining order."
G. "(All of the above)."
Some, I would hope, aren't likely, but all are 100% possible.
I always fret when I go long periods of time without hearing word. And by "long periods", I mean more than two days. Sure, I spend lots of time with friends, and I'm rarely ever at home anymore, but time doesn't fly by quite as quickly when you're counting the minutes. Please tell me, Audrey Niffenegger - why IS love intensified by absence?
Bleh. I've got nothing.
Although if option A comes into the picture, I will fight. I will no longer reserve pistol-whipping for grouchy old ladies, if that's what it takes.
Beware my quality seal, bitches!
at 2:55 AM
According to Norse Gods Weekly, the Easter Bunny was laid off last week due to the Nation's economic recession. Cupid, known world-wide for his accomplishments during the holiday Valentine's Day, has been hired to take Bunny's place.
"This is bullshit," stated Bunny, now well over 100. "I just can't believe it. What am I supposed to do now? Work as one of Santa's elves?"
People worldwide seem shocked by the appearance of the winged love symbol, but not displeased. Matthew Major, popular for his famous haiku such as "Miss Spider Bucket", commented Thursday, saying there's "just something great about stuffing [baskets] with your loved ones". Major plans to spend the holiday in bed with his mistress, Brian's mom.*
*Not to be confused with Melanie's mom.
at 12:32 PM